Retail Overload

Just worked four nine-hour shifts in a row as a night cashier.  I usually work part-time and my shifts are more spread out so I'm not used to being in the store for so many days in a row.  Here's how that went…

Day 1: Exhausted, just happy if I can survive the shift without falling over.  I vigilantly count the hours until I get to go home and vow to go to bed as soon as I go home.  My tiredness gives me a drug-like numbness that helps me tolerate massive amounts of douchebaggery.

Day 2: Got 7 hours of sleep, which is an improvement.  I feel more well-rested.  The store is very busy, but I work hard and I am more friendly with customers and coworkers.

Day 3: My vow to get better sleep has been ignored again and I get 5 hours of sleep.  However, for some reason I am happy, contemplative and energetic.  The customers are a mix of entitled, ignorant people and attractive men; sometimes a combination.  I treat all of them way better than they deserve.  An indian woman asks me if I hate her, possibly because I didn't help her immediately and because she was being a pain in the ass.  I say "no," but my acting needs work.

Day 4: Everyone is an asshole and if I don't get out of here soon I will kill someone!  A woman asks if she can have a 5 cent plastic bag for free and I say, "I guess."  When she says goodbye I say nothing and give her a look of contempt.  A European woman tells me that cashiers are given chairs to sit on in Europe so their backs don't hurt.  "I bet you didn't know that!" she says, as if she is talking to a child.  She makes no visible effort to change the rules in our store or any Canadian store.  When customers ask for help using the self-checkouts, I try my best not to throw their items onto the carousel as hard as I can.  When I'm finally free, I do not feel joy, but confusion and a profound feeling of disappointment and regret.

At least I'm off for a few days… :)

Princess Bride Remake!

Hello people!

I'm sorry about not posting these last few months.  I can't say I've been that busy.  I did have exams and my jury and applying for jobs, but really most of the time I've been sleeping, eating and watching TV.  I guess I'm just getting bored of blogging for a non-existent audience.  No one comments!  But I have been writing quite a bit for FanFiction.net because the people on there seem to be reading and giving me feedback.  Also, it's fun to take a work of fiction and make it your own.

Mostly what's happening with me right now is that I am still looking for a summer job.  I do have the art gallery but that is only every Saturday morning.  Luckily, today was a great day because not only am I eligible for a big tax refund, but I have an interview for Loblaws in a couple days!  I really hope I get the job, even if it means I have be a cashier.

I'm sure it's not as bad as people say it is...

My main topic for this evening is the Princess Bride.

I just revisited one of my preteen movie obsessions for fun and as I was watching it I thought of remake cast members one by one.  Almost every character reminded me of a modern actor in some way.  If you've seen this movie, you probably remember it as an awesome, low-budget, underrated 80s fairytale adventure movie with a great cast.


Since it was made in 1987 they could do a 25th anniversary remake (2012) or a 30th anniversary remake (2017).

I know some people may disagree with me about this, but this movie could be made funnier than it was (although it was absolutely hilarious).  I most definitely think the music could have been improved.  No full out musical song-and-dance numbers, but definitely something a little less boring, like John Williams or Danny Elfman.

Be forewarned - this is not a practical cast, it is my dream cast!

Westley = Dustin Ingram (if he can do an excellent British accent)
Buttercup = Keira Knightley
Humperdinck = Jerry Seinfeld
Inigo Montoya = Antonio Banderas
Fezzik = Arnold Schwarzenegger in a fat suit
Vizzini = Rick Mercer (if you haven't heard of him, you should seriously look up "Rick Mercer Report")
Count Rugen = Alan Rickman
Miracle Max = Christopher Walken
Valerie = Julia Louis Dreyfus
Albino = Ken Jeong
Sickly child (Grandson) = Noah Cyrus?
Grandfather =John Mahoney
Impressive clergyman = Rowan Atkinson or Patrick Kerr
The Queen = Helen Mirren
The Decrepit King = Christopher Plummer
The Ancient Booer = Susan Boyle

Comment if you like my choices, or if you disagree with them!  Be honest!  I love constructive criticism!