Today was my first day back and it depressed me and made me tired. What a wonderful start to the new year... University is simply a different world from home. I have so much less time and everyone around me seems so much, well, more impressive. You'd think I was in first year, double-taking at each person that walks by. I feel so impressive back in my hometown, but when I go back to university, I'm left wondering what it is that I have to offer?
One course that I'm in is really intimidating. Acting for Singers. A friend of mine said it was mostly yoga, but we have readings, discussion of readings, we have to prepare a monologue, a scene with two other people and an aria. Writing it down now, it doesn't seem so bad, but it feels like I have to have all this stuff ready for the teacher so soon... It's kind of scary. I miss chilling out with my family and writing fanfics, isolated in my tidy house. I was fantasizing about those things all day. I already want to go home and I have three days left before I go home for the weekend. I'm such a baby when it comes to homesickness...
No offense to my university apartment, but it's really not half as nice as home. And I'm constantly hand-washing my dishes... This morning, we hardly had any water and when I went to wash my dishes, hardly any water came out - not enough to wash anything, of course. It's back now, but student housing frustrates me. The landlord knows we don't know our rights, so he'll do a shoddy job with the hydro, the heating, the lighting, the fire alarm... Why can't landlords just do a good job, whether you're a student or not? Anyway, I have a feeling that I'm just depressed because it's my time of the month. But, all in all, not the greatest first day back after winter break. I really hope tomorrow is better. Time to go get some delicious corn chips!
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Today and Missing Mom
It's snowing again! I love it when it snows. When I went outside to pick up my history paper, there were millions of snowflakes floating through the air. But the cold was nearly burning my face off. The pros and cons of winter.
I got a B- on my paper. I wanted an A of course, but a decent mark is fine. I'm very relieved! I finished writing that paper literally five minutes before the due date. I was really last minute.
I woke up at 2 pm today. I'm very ashamed. I went to bed at 3 am, but it's still pretty deplorable, not to mention a record-breaker.
I need to study for my history final, so I don't want to waste too much time. I want to ace it!
I went shopping at the mall by myself yesterday. Very enjoyable, albeit crowded. And I was thinking about how much I missed shopping with mom. How I usually loved spending that time with her. But I was a kid then. But then I realized... I'm an adult. I dress myself, I can drive, take the bus, the train all on my own, I make my own food, I have jobs and have had jobs, most of the money in my bank account was earned, I see my family less often (sometimes only twice a month) because I'm getting less and less dependent on them, no one wakes me up in the morning, I can legally drink, and I do (I've acquired a taste for white wine and cheap beer), I have my own room in an apartment, no one tells me to do chores, do my homework, clean my room, I buy my own groceries and shop on my own. In a few years I might be completely independent, with a boyfriend or husband, a job in music, my own house. I'm a woman, not a girl. It feels weird to say that. But I miss my mom. I always wanted to watch the Nutcracker with her during the holidays. Why didn't we do that? I miss shopping with her, watching concerts, musicals, operas with her, riding the GO train with her, asking her for advice on outfits, makeup, hair. Asking her what the high was (she always knew), her waking me up early, decorating the Christmas tree with her, baking and cooking together, practicing while she worked in the study, driving lessons (she either looked completely worried or not worried at all), watching chick flicks with her, camping trips as a family, seeing her pull into the driveway after a long day at work, speaking french with her. So many memories. But for some reason I especially miss our shopping trips at Erin Mills. We'd leave and say we'd be gone for an hour, but we were gone for four hours. Dad would call us and say, "Where ARE you?!" and mom would tell him that we were almost done or on our way home. She was a shopaholic. I miss her.
I got a B- on my paper. I wanted an A of course, but a decent mark is fine. I'm very relieved! I finished writing that paper literally five minutes before the due date. I was really last minute.
I woke up at 2 pm today. I'm very ashamed. I went to bed at 3 am, but it's still pretty deplorable, not to mention a record-breaker.
I need to study for my history final, so I don't want to waste too much time. I want to ace it!
I went shopping at the mall by myself yesterday. Very enjoyable, albeit crowded. And I was thinking about how much I missed shopping with mom. How I usually loved spending that time with her. But I was a kid then. But then I realized... I'm an adult. I dress myself, I can drive, take the bus, the train all on my own, I make my own food, I have jobs and have had jobs, most of the money in my bank account was earned, I see my family less often (sometimes only twice a month) because I'm getting less and less dependent on them, no one wakes me up in the morning, I can legally drink, and I do (I've acquired a taste for white wine and cheap beer), I have my own room in an apartment, no one tells me to do chores, do my homework, clean my room, I buy my own groceries and shop on my own. In a few years I might be completely independent, with a boyfriend or husband, a job in music, my own house. I'm a woman, not a girl. It feels weird to say that. But I miss my mom. I always wanted to watch the Nutcracker with her during the holidays. Why didn't we do that? I miss shopping with her, watching concerts, musicals, operas with her, riding the GO train with her, asking her for advice on outfits, makeup, hair. Asking her what the high was (she always knew), her waking me up early, decorating the Christmas tree with her, baking and cooking together, practicing while she worked in the study, driving lessons (she either looked completely worried or not worried at all), watching chick flicks with her, camping trips as a family, seeing her pull into the driveway after a long day at work, speaking french with her. So many memories. But for some reason I especially miss our shopping trips at Erin Mills. We'd leave and say we'd be gone for an hour, but we were gone for four hours. Dad would call us and say, "Where ARE you?!" and mom would tell him that we were almost done or on our way home. She was a shopaholic. I miss her.
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