7 Reasons Why I Hate My Gym and Gyms in General With a Passion

Yesterday, it was raining profusely the entire day and I wasn't able to go swimming and since I was at university I didn't have access to DDR, so I was forced to go to my stupid university gym.  This will be a Cracked-style post.


I fucking hate my university gym and here's why...

1. Loud music


The music in the gym is way too loud.  Ridiculously loud.  Dance club loud.  That volume is appropriate for a rave or a rock concert, but in my opinion it has no place in a gym.  

Why not just make the gym look like this, why don't you?

If you want to listen to something that isn't Katy Perry or Skrillex via your iPod you have to crank the volume up to max and even then you can still hear booms of sound.  What do you do after that?  Hold the headphones in tightly while screaming along with your music?  No, that is too undignified for my taste.  


And just who is benefiting from this music other than the few staff members and the sad suckers who forgot their headphones?  Most people at the gym bring their MP3s with them to listen to while they work out.  


Anyway, they should at least turn it down so my ears aren't ringing by the end of my workout.

2. Boring, uninspiring surroundings


I love walking outdoors.  It is probably my favourite form of exercise and that is because the scenery is constantly changing as I walk and there are so many interesting things to take in.  I usually see something new every day.  No beautiful scenery can be found at the gym, unless you are talking about human scenery.  Then there's some. ;)  But on the whole, the gym is an off-white, industrial, modern and horribly boring space.  When I'm on a walk I am often too absorbed in my music and the view to pay attention to the fact that I am actually exercising, while at the gym it's all I can think about and I find myself obsessively counting the minutes until I am finally finished.  This makes the gym an unpleasant experience for me.  


I propose an invention that will improve this flaw, although it may have already been invented...


Virtual reality glasses that project beautiful scenery surrounding you as you use the treadmill.  It could also have a function that finds scenery that suits the music you are listening to.  Like the streets of Liverpool for the Beatles, an abandoned slaughterhouse full of kidnapped prostitutes for Marilyn Manson, a beautiful beach resort for Owl City, lush Canadian scenery for The Tragically Hip, the cobbled streets of Paris for Yann Tierson's Amelie soundtrack, etc.  I could go on forever. 

Now that's more like it.  I'm much more motivated to run.

In the corner they would have a video of you on the treadmill so that you are aware of where you are spatially.  There could also be some safety features on the equipment to ensure people do not fall off.  With this invention people could travel to places they might never reach in their lives.  Working out becomes travel.  It would be awesome.  


Some skeptics would say that one could just use their own imagination in order to do this, but seriously, are any of us smart enough to do that anymore???


Anyway, that would make the gym experience much more worthwhile and actually worth all the money people pay for a stupid gym membership.  

3. The TVs don't work


Most good gyms have several televisions hanging from the ceiling and if you want, you can plug your headphones into the TV audio and watch a show while you work out, which is great.  We have lots of TVs at our gym too, but our audio device is broken.  Has been for the four years I've been at the university and even though there have been renovations all over campus, nothing has been done about this problem.  So the TVs at our gym just dangle from the ceiling playing shows I will never be able to hear while pedalling an exercise bike.  They don't even turn the TVs off the save power.  I guess they do that because students are always touring the university so they want to give the impression that they don't have a shitty ghetto gym.  Yay lying and wasting energy!

He would make an excellent university president.  Much more transparency.

4. 30-min cardio limit


Apparently you can't go over 30 minutes on the cardio equipment.  Which sucks because I am aiming for an hour of cardio each day.  I understand that there are a lot of people that use the gym, but honestly that rule is bullshit.  Next time I'm going to do an hour and see if anyone does anything.  

5. Stupid jocks who lift weights in a douchey fashion


Every single gym except women's gyms are teeming with these creatures.  They lift the weights way too fast and lift more weight than they can handle in order to look impressive to their male friends.  They like to grunt and parade themselves around while resting from their "pumping iron."  I don't usually lift weights at the gym so I don't have to hear their stupid chatter, but they are pretty damn annoying.

6. Seeing professors working out


It's just kind of awkward.  This year pretty much every time I went to the gym I saw my Theory Professor working out at the gym and it was always too late for me to leave when I realized he was there.  That happened last year as well.  I think that guy is some kind of gym rat.  I just find that experience weird and annoying.  I don't like seeing my professors sweating and panting profusely unless they're the hot ones.  And that is never the case at my stupid gym.  I have never seen a hot professor there.  Alas.

At least Farnsworth doesn't use my gym.

7. The Stupidity of the Concept


The fact that people are stupid enough to pay through the nose for what they could accomplish just as easily with long walks and weights at home is mystifying.  I've never had a membership outside of my university gym (included with tuition) other than one-week trials and using the free guest pass.  Gyms just seem like a waste of money.  Unless the gym has a bunch of cool features like a hot tub, a sauna, swimming treadmills, a dance party room, DDR machines, etc then I don't think a membership is worth my money.

Oh yeah, that's right.  Tell me I'm perfect.  Give me an A.  This should be my professor.

And those are my seven reasons.  In conclusion, my gym and most gyms suck.

South Park/Billy Talent/Losing Weight

My tastes change so quickly, I'm so fleeting in my affection haha.

South Park:

I've suddenly become obsessed with South Park.  Before a week or so ago, I'd only seen a couple episodes of this and found it okay but not amazing with some funny moments.  But watching more of their episodes, I have discovered that not only is this show much better than Family Guy, but Matt Stone and Trey Parker are masters of irony.  Every episode generally adheres to a general formula:

1. Problem arises, usually due to the ignorance of the townsfolk or the children because their parents and teachers don't teach them anything.

2. Chef encounter with the same dialogue each time and often Chef sings a song about sex.

2. Episode revolves around an important political issue, social trend or celebrity.  Usually something very current and relevant.

3. Cartman acts like a greedy, racist douche.

4. Usually a Terence and Philip episode excerpt which is hilarious and usually an immature fart joke.

5. Kenny dies, "Oh my God they killed Kenny!", "You bastards!"

6. Problem solved.

7. Kyle's "I learned something today speech" which generally causes people to stop being insane for the moment.

However within that formula that makes up nearly every South Park episode are some amazing jokes, hilarious characters and sad, but legitimate truths.  Strangely enough, I do feel like "I learned something" after every episode.

The best thing about this show is their proficient use of irony.

Some examples:

"Christian Rock Hard" 

The boys (Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters) in this episode start a band but when they try to download music for free online to "find their sound" they get arrested and the police officer gives them a "heart-wrenching" speech about how, because of illegal downloads, celebrities can't spend as lavishly as they used to, only being able to afford things that are really expensive, but not as expensive as the obscenely expensive things they used to buy.  

"Passion of the Jew"

Cartman's speech to "Passion of the Christ" fans where he is talking about another Holocaust (wearing a Hitler costume, I might add) while they believe he is talking about making more people watch the Passion or convert to Christianity.  He eventually gets them to chant something about death to Jews in German while they believe they are speaking Aramaic, like in the movie.  Another hilarious thing about this episode is their caricature of Mel Gibson as absolutely insane.

There are so many other examples.  Most examples leave me laughing hysterically...

Also, I'm again listening profusely to Billy Talent for probably the ninth time.  It's like I can never get tired of them.  Their new album is really awesome.  And it turns out they are great music for working out.  I've loved this band since middle school or high school and they're still putting out amazing music!  Can't wait for their new album this coming fall!  Judging by the sound of Billy Talent III I think it will be just as impressive.

My weight loss plan for this summer:

I'm going to try something crazy this summer.  It was basically inspired by a visit to the doctor a couple months ago...

I was generally healthy, except that I was 155-160 pounds and 5''3, which according to her is Overweight.  I should be 105-135 pounds, so I am about 20 pounds overweight.  My BMI is 28.  She told me to lose the weight in a couple months, slowly as opposed to quickly.  I knew this already as I had calculated my BMI on the computer several times before that but it was depressing to hear a doctor say that I was overweight and I needed to lose weight.  

Before a year or two ago I had never been overweight.  I had always been the right weight.  Also, looking at myself in the mirror, I don't look overweight.  I look average weight.  Hardly anyone has ever told me I need to lose weight or that I am fat.  I'm not extremely muscular but I do have muscles and I wonder if that makes me more overweight than I actually am on the BMI scale.  

Nevertheless, the first couple months after that doctor's appointment I was indignant.  She had not told me how to lose the weight and spoke to me as if it would be extremely easy and simple.  The doctor herself was not obese, but not slim either.  So, feeling like I shouldn't have to try to lose weight at all, I didn't change anything about my diet or exercise.

But this summer, like many summers before, I have much more time on my hands, and I exercise more.  This summer I have decided to try something completely new.  I have never dieted before, except for the fact that I am vegetarian, but I have seen so many people try diets and fail, and I find that I am hungry really often.  I thought, "losing weight would be so much easier if all you had to do was exercise."  Exercise is invigorating and fun and makes me have more energy and sleep better.  On the internet I googled "Can you lose weight by only exercising?" and people were divided on the issue, some people saying it was impossible and some saying it was a good method.  

So, this summer I will exercise at least six times a week for 30-90 minutes, NOT CHANGING MY DIET AT ALL for two months (May 7-July 7) and see what happens.  At first I said every day, but there are some days when I feel lethargic or depressed.  I generally try to make myself exercise on those do-nothing days but occasionally it doesn't happen.  So, at least six times a week.  So far, with almost a month done, I have only missed two days, with one day that I only walked for 10 minutes (which half counts, I guess).  My methods of exercise so far are walking, biking, elliptical, exercise bike, swimming and DDR.  My favourites are walking, swimming, biking and DDR (Dance Dance Revolution).  Yup, everything except the gym, but I'll get into that in a moment...  I like to mix things up so I don't get too bored with what I'm doing, and so far, it's been quite enjoyable.  Sometimes I even look forward to it.  For biking and walking I like to try different routes each day, exploring a different part of my city each day, which is fun.  I'd love some suggestions for other forms of exercise to try to keep things interesting.  So far my weight has been consistently 158-161 but I feel thinner and more energetic and productive.  And if that is all I get from this, at least I have that!  I also keep a basic diary (type of exercise, duration, weight) to track my progress.  So we'll see what happens.  I think I might lose some weight but in the end, I'll probably need to change my diet as well, which will suck.  Hopefully my plan will succeed and I can still eat Kraft Dinner and delicious, delicious carbs!

Summer at University and Current Obsessions

Hello everyone!

I haven't posted much beyond just stories and poetry lately so I thought I would just generally ramble about my life right now.

Firstly, I seem to always announce my various "phases" and "obsessions" which seem to be constantly changing since I immerse myself in my obsession until I get extremely tired of it.  So, now I will announce what I am currently obsessed with.

Website: writerscafe.org

This is a really awesome website where you can post literally any kind of writing and a lot of your stuff will get reviewed.  It's really nice if you want feedback.  There are also several fun contests and I think even writing classes in which to participate.  You can even make your own contest, which is fun if you want to read writing in a specific category.  It also makes me feel kind of important, which is great because I have not been feeling important lately.

Here I am: http://www.writerscafe.org/HedonisticHermit

deviantart.com

This is another website I love.  You can post literally any kind of writing on there.  You can also find art, photography and fiction depicting the strangest things.  It's a great place to find fan fiction and fan art, even things that are rather obscure.  The quality can range from excessively mediocre to professional.  I've found some really amazing pieces of art on there.  It also doesn't censor people that much.  As long as you are over 18 or something you can see all kinds of lovely naughty images.  I've mostly been using it for my poetry and writing and I have been getting some feedback, which is nice.

Here I am: http://hedonistichermit.deviantart.com/

Notice how I am always Hedonistic Hermit?  Yup, I planned it that way.  Mwahaha!

Music:

Death Cab for Cutie

This is currently my largest obsession.  So far I have been replaying "Narrow Stairs" constantly, but I attained "Plans" today and I'm hoping on getting more albums from the library soon.

I specifically love the songs "Cath...", "I Will Possess Your Heart", "Long Division" and "Twin-Sized Bed."  Their songs are simultaneously full of beauty and energy.  "Cath..." sort of reminds me of Matthew Good.  I love to imagine a music video for each song as I listen to it.  I get kind of annoyed when I watch a music video that doesn't try to follow the message of the song and they just try to make it look cool instead but I get really excited when they get it right!  Of the few videos I've seen of Death Cab I would say that they are talented video-makers.

What got me into this band was my constant debate with my younger brother about whether Owl City is a good band and whether Owl City is copying Ben Gibbard and his various musical projects.  For the record I can hear that Adam Young is using a similar singing voice to Gibbard, but their music seems really different.

Death Cab for Cutie is indie pop/rock with some electronics and while Postal Service is more electronic pop/rock which is the same genre as Owl City, I think those two projects are extremely different from each other.

Much of The Postal Service's material is remixes and their music is much more serious and melancholy than Owl City.

Owl City, in contrast, is about as optimistic and cheerful as music can get. And I understand that happy music is not everyone's cup of tea.  You need your sad songs for break-ups, lost jobs, deaths, etc.  But Owl City, at least to me, is constantly able to cheer me up from whatever depression I am in.  It's just so happy, carefree and full of fantasy.  The songs are made up of stories of love, friendship, nature, determination, dreams, etc.  Whenever I put on Owl City I feel like I have been transported to a different world where there are no problems.  A world full of benevolent technology, warm weather, beaches, animals, good company, travelling, etc.  A fantasy of the best world ever isn't supposed to make sense, it's just supposed to feel like some kind of amazing acid trip.  And in my opinion: Mission accomplished, Mr. Young!  Also, Owl City does not do as many remixes and he uses different electronic effects.  So that is why I like Owl City and how they are different from the Postal Service.

Here is an Owl City clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_PjqZXKcr0&feature=BFa&list=PL4C8031CE6A158D09&shuffle=413915

It is not a common Owl City track, because he isn't singing but it is my favourite Owl City song right now.


MC Frontalot

Just starting to get into him.  Not sure if it will become a full-blown phase.  But I just wanted to emphasize the fact that this amazing man has made a career out of being a nerd... wait for it... and open your mind REAL WIDE for this one... THAT RAPS!!  That's right, you are hearing me correctly, a nerd that raps.  And he raps about nerdy stuff.  This just makes the world such an amazing place in my opinion.  Also, he wrote a rap based on a famous meme ("First World Problems").

Shad and Dallas Green


Only two songs together but they are both mind-blowingly amazing.  Shad's intelligent, poignant lyrics about leaving a legacy and about listening to music combined with Dallas Green's angelic voice and brilliant improvising is basically aural crack.  Probably the best Canadian duo since Gord Downie and Dallas Green.  Okay there are other great duos, but none are coming to mind right now except Geddy Lee with Bob and Doug McKenzie.  Come to think of it, I would love to see RUSH and City and Colour do something together.  Hmmm...  One can only hope.

Television:

Family Guy

Reasons?  It is extremely funny and I have finished all the other shows I like.  But I have developed a crush on a couple of the characters (the two Goldmans) on the show, so I hope they will show up in future episodes!  I actually really love the new seasons of this show.  I have been watching backward and I have reached seasons 1 and 2, but I don't want to watch them because the quality is so old-school compared to 3-10.  I'll admit to liking the slicker look.  And Meg's early voice really annoys me in those seasons.  She doesn't sound nearly psychotic enough.

I'm also following The Office and How I Met Your Mother.  The Office is starting to get better, which is exciting!

Summer Courses:


I am done the fourth year of my degree, but I still have another course requirement and I want to get an English minor because I really like english and reading literature as well as writing.  Therefore I will be doing a summer semester and a fall semester and then I will graduate.  Whenever I tell anyone this they look at me oddly and fake enthusiasm.  I don't know why they disapprove of me getting an english minor and spending extra time at university so much.  It really annoys me, but I'm trying not to let it bother me.  I may be doing a creative writing course in the fall which would be really exciting.  I love to write, as you can tell right now.

Right now I am taking two courses in a period called intersession where they jam material into a small period of time that is shorter than a normal semester so I hope I will be able to keep on top of my work.  I am taking a course that is a survey of British Literature from the 18th century to 20th century (my first online course) and another course that covers Canadian Literature that is Contemporary (post-1980).

I'll be reading The Underpainter (Jane Urquhart), Three Day Road (Joseph Boyden), Soucouyant (David Chariandy), The Englishman's Boy (Guy Vanderhaeghe), Silas Marner (George Eliot), The Playboy of the Western World (J.M. Synge) and A Passage to India (E.M. Forster).  I pray that I survive...

I'm trying to find a job in this university city but so far not too much luck.  Once I get into the groove of things I'll probably start getting determined and maybe finding some work.

Wish me luck and I hope this doesn't end up being too stressful!

New poem

I wrote a new poem at 4 am since I couldn't sleep, although I eventually did.  Lately, due to lack of classes and stuff to do, my sleep schedule has been 3 am to 3 pm.  It's exam time right now and all I have left is a vocal jury.  For this exam I sing five pieces for three "judges," which is like American Idol but the songs are better and the judges know what they are talking about.  So all I've been obligated to do is practice an hour every day, if that.  I hope I can go back to normal or somewhat normal soon...

Here is my poem...


Beer:

Cat call in the distance at three am

Someone far away is hot

And someone far away is horny

Decisions made with beer goggles

As you half-sleep in a bubbly, pleasant haze

There’s more evidence for evolution

Than skeletons and theories

I think as I hear a college girl

Shriek just like a chimpanzee

Below on Spruce Street

Far away noises sound so close

They are inside my tiny flat

Invading

How frightening it would be to venture outside so late

On a saturday night

And soak up the stupidity

Violence at the slightest provocation

Passive-aggressive friendliness

Walk past a bar

Would I make it home alive?

The city lights cast a morning glow 

on the trees and the now-grey sky

It looks as if the sun is rising

But, no, I’m still here in my warm, fluffy bed

Half-asleep, half-awake like most nights

When will I escape this vampire’s schedule?

I long for the early mornings of my youth

Seven am, the darkness lingering

Birds chirping, parents yelling,

Reading on the school bus

Innocence, naïveté, thinking life was so difficult then

But it wasn’t

That was just the beginning

The jock population skyrockets after two am

Because nothing good happens then

Birds, maybe robins, singing at four am

Everything is backwards at this hour

And so much more frightening

Terrified of even leaving my room

Down the dark, empty hallway

Maybe I’m just jealous 

I wish I had some friends to be stupid and drunk with

Some men and boys too

Even just some alcohol

A cold glass of beer

To help me sleep

To taste

So bubbly and bittersweet

Pop with a punch

I must imagine my glass of water as a mug of beer

And hope...

Wallflower

I haven't posted for a while, but don't give up on me if anyone is indeed reading this.  I just wrote this poem a few minutes ago.  As you can see it is about my experiences in school as a shy person.

Wallflower:

Little wallflower at the back of the room

Sitting pretty, waiting to bloom

Watching the others in their gaiety

Dreaming of tiny steps to spontaneity 

If you have something to say, say it

But even when you do, you delay it

Sitting in the back all alone

Where have you hidden your backbone?

You wait it out until that perfect silence

The challenge, the defiance

Of delivering the right answer

When everyone else just stands there

But it seems it will never come

You’d rather they think you were dumb

Instead of watching the heads turn

And feeling your throat burn

And it has to be something meaningful

Something wise, beneficial

Because this is the leaf upturned

This is the incense finally burned

You must be wise and reveal a profound truth

Or the silent one will be seen as the dumb mute

But not too weird and different either

Or you might as well be having a seizure

As you speak there is such an unjust silence

And as you finish an applause like raw violence

For despite your careful wording

They will never pay attention to anything but asserting

Asserting, asserting is gold

Asserting yourself and being bold

Being confident, being nude

Being exposed, being rude

Even if you proved the professor wrong

Even if in three seconds you wrote a song

Even if you recited a hundred digits of Pi

All they care about is that you are speaking and that you were once shy

And that

my friends

is a spectacle

What's happening lately

Current musical phase: ABBA

I was obsessed with them in childhood, and since I burned them to my iPod yesterday, I haven't been able to play anything else.  Every once in a while it sounds like indie or techno, because they use a lot of synthesizer.  "SOS," "Gimme, gimme, gimme," "Voulez-vous," "Does your mother know" and "Thank you for the music" are masterpieces. 

ABBA is also a musical form.  Haha.

I thought I had caught the Owl City fever as well, and I listened to some of their songs, but I think it's just the song "Fireflies" that I like.  The rest is not very remarkable.

Current book:  The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

I haven't read that much yet, but so far it reminds me of 1984.

Current anime: Nadia: the Secret of Blue Water

Such an awesome anime.  I got into it because I heard my favourite Disney movie (Atlantis) was largely based on it (to the point of copying it).  Watching it now, I have to agree.

Milo = Jean
Kida = Nadia
Helga = Electra
Rourke = Gargoyle
Mole = Hanson

Both casts of characters live on a submarine most of the time.  Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water is longer, with more character development.  Also, the villains in Nadia are the Neo-Atlanteans, while the heroes are the surviving Atlanteans and the descendants of the Atlanteans.

The series is very imaginative and you can learn a lot about science from it, like in Star Trek.  It also kind of reminds me of Pokemon and Trigun.  Pokemon, because the villainous trio is pretty much exactly like Team Rocket, although Pokemon came later, so Pokemon copied this series.

Grandis = Jessie
Sanson = James
Hanson = Meowth (only human, and much more intelligent)

They have almost the exact same voices and appearances, although Sanson has a very aristocratic British drawl while James has more of a gay British accent.

It's also similar to Trigun, because of the animation style and the constant theme of whether it is worth it to be pacifist.  On the Nautilus, there are occasions when people have to die in order to defeat Gargoyle, and there is no other option.  Like Vash, Nadia is a pacifist throughout the entire series, and it costs her sometimes.  She is a lot more vocal about it, though.

Also, the villains (Neo-Atlanteans) are quite frightening for anime, which is refreshing.  They wear KKK hoods that are black (kind of like the Death Eater hoods) and army uniforms that are like the Nazi, Soviet and American soldier uniforms and white frowning masks.  These villains don't make speeches, fly around in silly machines and cackle evilly.  They shoot people, make nuclear weapons and believe in a superior race.  Yeah.  Get your kids to watch this one, parents!   I lost sleep watching the first few episodes with these villains.  They are creepy.  Those KKK hoods really scare me for some reason, and I'm not even black.

I've really enjoyed watching it so far.  Sometimes, I'll watch 3 or 4 in a night.  It is addicting.  But I'm still only on episode 25 and there are 39 altogether, so I'm about 2/3 through the series.  It doesn't seem to be very well known.  I guess because it's from 1990 (older than Pokemon!).  I highly recommend this series to people who like any of these shows/movies: Atlantis, Pokemon, Trigun and Star Trek. 

In conclusion, it is a combination of Disney's "Atlantis," "Pokemon," "Trigun," and "Star Trek."  But it is original in many aspects.


What I will be baking soon: St. Patrick's Day cupcakes

I will tell you how it goes.  They are green cupcakes with green sugar, white icing, green gummies made into shamrocks and Leprechaun hats made from green icing, Ritz crackers, marshmallows, M&Ms and Tootsie Rolls.  Go to the website if you want to try making it as well.  Warning: it was hard for a college student like me to find all the materials (my apartment is kind of understocked with obscure baking supplies and ingredients).

Here it is: http://hoosierhomemade.com/st-patricks-day-cupcakes-cupcake-tuesday/
 
Her version looks awesome.  The woman on this website seems very creative.  Wish me luck!  Luck of the Irish, that is!

Back to School Depression

Today was my first day back and it depressed me and made me tired.  What a wonderful start to the new year...  University is simply a different world from home.  I have so much less time and everyone around me seems so much, well, more impressive.  You'd think I was in first year, double-taking at each person that walks by.  I feel so impressive back in my hometown, but when I go back to university, I'm left wondering what it is that I have to offer?

One course that I'm in is really intimidating.  Acting for Singers.  A friend of mine said it was mostly yoga, but we have readings, discussion of readings, we have to prepare a monologue, a scene with two other people and an aria.  Writing it down now, it doesn't seem so bad, but it feels like I have to have all this stuff ready for the teacher so soon...  It's kind of scary.  I miss chilling out with my family and writing fanfics, isolated in my tidy house. I was fantasizing about those things all day.  I already want to go home and I have three days left before I go home for the weekend.  I'm such a baby when it comes to homesickness...

No offense to my university apartment, but it's really not half as nice as home.  And I'm constantly hand-washing my dishes...  This morning, we hardly had any water and when I went to wash my dishes, hardly any water came out - not enough to wash anything, of course.  It's back now, but student housing frustrates me.  The landlord knows we don't know our rights, so he'll do a shoddy job with the hydro, the heating, the lighting, the fire alarm...  Why can't landlords just do a good job, whether you're a student or not?  Anyway, I have a feeling that I'm just depressed because it's my time of the month.  But, all in all, not the greatest first day back after winter break.  I really hope tomorrow is better.  Time to go get some delicious corn chips!

Ugly choir girl

Okay, I lied.  One more.

Ugly choir girl:

She always sits in front of me
Face full of zits
Frizzy tight curls
Tacky clothes
Thin as a pencil
You're so greasy
You're pizza
You're macaroni and cheese

Why are all the girls in this choir so hideous?
I get sick to my stomach
when I look at you
you are the smell of sickening sweet
an arts major
insecure
fishing for notes
following the leader

And worst of all
you're blocking my view of him
You negate the bliss I feel when I see his face
He's looking at me now
But you can't let him see me
I think he loves me
But you're blocking his view

Who else would he want in this section?
And then I glance behind me

Big busty girl
Blond greasy hair
Bangles
Eighties chic
Blue eyes
Brown coat
Big tits
Red pouting lips
She's not ugly
But by logic she should be

And I realize I'm a fool
It's her
He can't stop looking at her

I'm getting annoyed
He can't control his head
Always turned to my corner of the room
What does she think of this?

But she's gone
I won't see her until tomorrow
Was he looking at someone else?
At me?
I ponder the mystery
Leaving choir and the pizza-faced girl
with a smirk on my face

Maybe I'm not an ugly choir girl

Today and Missing Mom

It's snowing again!  I love it when it snows.  When I went outside to pick up my history paper, there were millions of snowflakes floating through the air.  But the cold was nearly burning my face off.  The pros and cons of winter.

I got a B- on my paper.  I wanted an A of course, but a decent mark is fine.  I'm very relieved!    I finished writing that paper literally five minutes before the due date.  I was really last minute. 

I woke up at 2 pm today.  I'm very ashamed.  I went to bed at 3 am, but it's still pretty deplorable, not to mention a record-breaker.

I need to study for my history final, so I don't want to waste too much time.  I want to ace it!
I went shopping at the mall by myself yesterday.  Very enjoyable, albeit crowded.  And I was thinking about how much I missed shopping with mom.  How I usually loved spending that time with her.  But I was a kid then.  But then I realized... I'm an adult.  I dress myself, I can drive, take the bus, the train all on my own, I make my own food, I have jobs and have had jobs, most of the money in my bank account was earned, I see my family less often (sometimes only twice a month) because I'm getting less and less dependent on them, no one wakes me up in the morning, I can legally drink, and I do (I've acquired a taste for white wine and cheap beer), I have my own room in an apartment, no one tells me to do chores, do my homework, clean my room, I buy my own groceries and shop on my own.  In a few years I might be completely independent, with a boyfriend or husband, a job in music, my own house.  I'm a woman, not a girl.  It feels weird to say that.  But I miss my mom.   I always wanted to watch the Nutcracker with her during the holidays.  Why didn't we do that?  I miss shopping with her, watching concerts, musicals, operas with her, riding the GO train with her, asking her for advice on outfits, makeup, hair.  Asking her what the high was (she always knew), her waking me up early, decorating the Christmas tree with her, baking and cooking together, practicing while she worked in the study, driving lessons (she either looked completely worried or not worried at all), watching chick flicks with her, camping trips as a family, seeing her pull into the driveway after a long day at work, speaking french with her.  So many memories.  But for some reason I especially miss our shopping trips at Erin Mills.  We'd leave and say we'd be gone for an hour, but we were gone for four hours.  Dad would call us and say, "Where ARE you?!" and mom would tell him that we were almost done or on our way home.  She was a shopaholic.  I miss her.