Saturday, June 25, 2016

Crushed Heart Room (poem)

Put my heart in the crushed heart room
With all the other pathetic clich├ęd souls
Who were stupid enough to give away 
Their entire being

Put my tears in the vat of those 
Who say they’d do anything for him
But would rather just cry

Put my mind in the nursery
Of wretched obsessive teenage girls
As Taylor Swift rocks the pink sponges to sleep
But they will never sleep
Spinning constant tapestries of endless
Implausible fantasies 
Starring the one who left them behind

Play the world’s smallest violin 
For the sucker who almost 
Put her foot in her mouth

Thank God I found out before 
I wore my heart on my sleeve
But he just put his hand inside me
And crushed it
Before I could even tell him anything
So does it matter what I did?

And this isn’t poetry
I’m not doing anything really
Just trying to be alive
But why?
Trying to lose weight
For what?
Trying to keep my job
To survive
What’s keeping me here?

I can’t stop thinking that it isn’t true
That you were misquoted
But it’s the end
I can’t feed that poor brain 
Any more love propaganda
Without resistance
Acid reflux
How fucking romantic

He doesn’t think I’m worth being with 
So why should I be worth anything to anyone?
He ruined all the other guys for me
I let him do that
They’re just hot guys
I’d never date them

I just don’t know what to say or do
Can’t bother to rhyme
This isn’t a limerick
Or a Shakespeare play 
Or a Doctor Seuss book
I don’t know where to go
Why do anything?

I have to see him all the time
Hang out with him
He wants to string me along
Like a little balloon that he’ll...
...release to the sky
When he’s bored with it
Float up to the blue endless sky 
Tears blown away by the wind as he 
Walks away as if I was never in his hands
As he grows smaller and smaller