Thursday, November 24, 2016

Stoner Food Reviews (Rebaked!), Day 5

Bienvenue, spirits!

I am starving so Imma just dig in.


This is No Name brand mac and cheese, the cheapest Kraft Dinner in all of the REAL. CANADIAN. SUPERSTORE.  So real, so Canadian, so super.  It was 59 cents and it looks beautiful, smells beautiful and I forget what the other senses are.  Look, smell, feel, taste, hear.  It sounds squishy when I mix it.  Unfortunately I had to heat this by microwave because I seshed a while and my food got cold because I was waiting to be high to eat it.  Heating it up again with a microwave is yet another sacred rule I am breaking, a cardinal sin to my know-it-all goody-two-shoes wine snob brother who believes in all this wine tasting bull that is based on nothing and has never improved the way things taste in any way ever!  That is SACRED RULE BREAKING #2… wine snobs had better leave right now because they should be expecting many more of these rule breakings.  Just letting you know.

Okay, now to actually taste the thing before it gets cold again.  Hmm…  kind of bland.  Cheesy but not prominently cheesy.  The texture and the temperature are really good; chewy and moist.  It's bland but I'm high enough that I like it and could probably eat the whole box if I was in an eat-the-whole box-binge-watch-30-Rock sort of mood.  I am just mindlessly eating this now and very confused.  Staring straight ahead and shovel, shovel, shovel, not even reading or watching anything.  Haha.  Kind of sweet and bready.  It does also taste artificial.  Can taste the butter as well.  This is definitely a nice attempt at mac and cheese for 59 cents.  I know what to subsist on if I become homeless.  I do have a sinking feeling that a sober tasting would be worse.

Next, I got a Mug Cake cookbook for my birthday so I will be making a mug cake today.  I will be making…


I am actually so pumped to make a bunch of mug cakes from this thing, fuck, maybe even one mug cake every day.  They even have mug cheesecake!  This is a recipe from 100 Mug Cakes by Leslie Bilderback.

Having this with whipped cream…  As I stab my fork into it, there is a spongey texture.  Smells eggy and blandly cakey.  Sweet.  Whipped cream and cake work nicely together.  Nothing immediately gross.  It's very tough to get a scoop.  So far, good but kind of bland, like the last food.  It's tolerable but nothing to write home about.  There's an eggy taste as well.  I do not taste the root beer at all haha.  Maybe I should have used the root beer extract.  The texture is firm and cooked but kind of tough.  I basically had to stab it with my spoon several times to get pieces off.  I declare this mug cake meh.  Not a good start to this cookbook, but I'm hopeful for the other recipes.

I think you can guess what I will be sampling next…


Boylan Root Beer, American company, I believe.  Yum, really strong flavour.  Sweet and sassy.  I like.  This would probably be good root beer float root beer.  Not much else to say.  It's quite nice.  I wish the mug cake had tasted like this. :(  Yeah the spice is nice and prominent.  This is probably one of the best root beers I've had.  Nom nom nom.  It tastes quite natural as well, not very artificial.  Although for all I know it's as unnatural as Mug Root Beer and I'm just fooled by the fact that it's in a glass bottle.  Who knows?

Later tonight we eat the dingo and your baby.

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