Monday, February 3, 2014

Stoner Food Reviews, Day 2

Hello again.  It's been a difficult and stressful day of work and I think all night owls (fuck off day people, I'm not talking to you!) are ready for a nice night of smoky relaxation and beautiful, flabbergasting, indulgent munchies.

Just to let you guys know, I am writing while high, not sober, for the full effect.  I will not edit out anything dumb I say because it's too funny to not include, even typos or grammar/spelling errors, which will annoy my inner grammar nazi to no end.

So without further ado, I bring you...

President's Choice Mac and Cheese Deluxe Cheddar: I was getting wet just pouring it into the bowl and then, since I was listening to "Make it Bun Dem" By Damien Marley and Skrillex, I start dancing really awesomely and awkwardly.  Now to eat.  God it looks good.  Oh my God.  I need a fleet of trucks filled with this cheesy deliciousness in a box.  Warm, toasty in my mouth.  Oh man, I've got to write something down...  The supreme mac and cheese.  The top ranked.  The most buttery and immaculate.  My God I loooove this food...  Must stop talking and start eating.  Oh it was wonderful.  It's my wonder wall.  It's my wonder wall.  Because time is going slower, it seems like there is a lot of food that takes a long time to consume.  Really spectacular dish!

Linden Bay Shiraz (To the laymen: red, red wine.  Stay close to me.): Weird, tart.  The wine is purple, not red.  Well, duh.  I've known that for years.  "Red, red wine" is a nice song but if I were in Jamaica, the last drink I'd be reaching for would be red wine.  I'd go for a beer or a margarita, something tropical.  The mac and cheese was better.  Just sayin'!

Well, good afternoon all and hope you have a great day ahead of you because I have a great sleep ahead of me.

Next time: We eat expired Cheese Whiz!!  Not worried for my well being because I just ate a full box of mac and cheese!  I can withstand the artificial cheese of the Kraft and President's Choice companies easily because my stomach has become used to their wonky ingredients!  I developed a resistance to iocane, I mean Kraft Dinner ingredients!  Ha!  Ha!  You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!  Ciao!

No comments:

Post a Comment